Death and taxes. They are supposed to be the two constants in life. But I’ve heard others say there is a third: Change. We all deal with change in our lives, regularly. Even those of us who like as little change as possible still have to deal with changing seasons, changes in technology and other changes that happen around us. Some change can be good, like a new job, new relationship or a move. Others can be harder, like the death of a loved one. More often, it’s a mixed bag. But regardless, change is almost always hard.
Death and taxes. They are supposed to be the two constants in life. But I’ve heard others say there is a third: Change. We all deal with change in our lives, regularly. Even those of us who like as little change as possible still have to deal with changing seasons, changes in technology and other changes that happen around us. Some change can be good, like a new job, new relationship or a move. Others can be harder, like the death of a loved one. More often, it’s a mixed bag. But regardless, change is almost always hard.
Here at Crossroads we’ve been dealing with that mixed bag of change recently. Dr. Renbaum and Brenda May have begun their retirements. Dr. Renbaum and Brenda have been cornerstones of our group for years. They have brought immeasurable wisdom to our clinicians and patients over the years, not to mention just the stability that comes from having two such wonderful people anchor a group like ours for years. So we are sad to say goodbye to them. It will be odd not seeing them in meetings, not being able to go to them for advice. Some greiving even. Yet we are excited for them as well. They get to start an exciting new chapter, spending more time with grandkids and doing other hobbies they have put on hold for years.
Likewise, we are excited to be welcoming three new clinicians start with us, Dr. Cotton, Dr. Sidana and Dr. Williams. They bring a new energy and new perspective to our group that has been exciting to experience over the past two months. Bringing them up to speed is challenging and brings anxiety for their patients and our administrative staff, but it is the normal nervous/excited anxiety that comes with this type of change.
A typical mixed bag…you could even say a “crossroads” in the life of our group.
*insert eyeroll at Dr. Gold’s bad joke here
It reminds me of how difficult change can be for our clients, and the need to practice what we preach. So with that in mind here are four tips for dealing with change:
Use the nervous/excited energy - Every day I come to work with a laundry list of things that need to get done as we transition. Some days I’m really excited about the possibilities, and have extra energy as a result. Use days like that to be productive. Ride those waves. But don’t over do it. Take care of yourself, make sure you get enough rest and keep up with self care routines. You might not get to them as often as usual, and that’s ok, but make sure you are getting enough.
Allow yourself to be sad - Grief is normal in a lot of situations like this. It’s ok to take time to reflect on what you have lost in transition, even good transitions. Life will never be the same again. Give yourself hours or even days where it is ok to not be ok or as productive, but instead be more reflective. When you have that day when you just don’t have the energy you thought you would give yourself grace, this is hard. Again, don’t overdo it, you still have things to do. Balance is key.
Realize it will take time, and won’t be perfect! - So many times we want to fast forward to the end of the transition and be in a new normal. But, it’s the process that creates that new place. Take time to dream what you want things to look like. Be ok when mistakes are made or changes don’t happen as quickly as you would like.
Don’t do it alone - Lean on friends and family who can be a support during these times. Chances are you are not the first person to be going through this particuar change, you may even have others going through it with you. Use each other for support, or reach out to others who can mentor you through the process.
Good or bad, change is hard. Give it time, give it effort, and give it space to be hard. Be excited when it’s appropriate, and sad when it is sad. You will make it through to the other side, and you will be better for it.
